Episode 1.23: Back for Christmas.

Starring: John Williams
Written by: Francis M. Cockrell (teleplay), John Collier (story)
Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock
First aired March 4, 1956

Episode Grade: A+++

Friends, I am SO EXCITED about this one. Actually, there are several great episodes in a row for the next few weeks. This one stars Alfred Hitchcock’s friend and one of his favorite actors, John Williams. Not John Williams the composer. John Williams the actor. Two very different people.

John Williams is my favorite of all the players in the Hitchcock canon. He was a glorious and gifted actor. Only he can play an incredibly likable murderer. That’s right. I said, likable murderer.

Hitch’s Intro:

This intro is also one of my favorites. Hitch is standing at a desk, examining a shrunken head. He greets us with “Good evening ladies and gentleman….especially the ladies.” He warns the ladies that our heads will shrink if we stay under the hair dryer too long.

He tells us collecting shrunken heads are a hobby of his; not making them. Making them takes to long. “You have to wait for the owner of the head to die,” he says, “and I haven’t the patience for that.”

He adds that this episode has nothing whatsoever to do with shrunken heads. (He’s right. It doesn’t.)

Episode Re-Cap & Commentary:

This isn’t an action-filled episode, really. It’s quite gentle. There is no melodrama at all. And yet, it moves swiftly and enjoyably. It is excellent.

The first thing we see is Herbert Carpenter (my beloved John Williams). He is digging a pit, a rectangular pit, in his cellar. He is doing this while wearing some nice trousers, a waistcoat and shirt, while holding a pipe in his teeth. Only John Williams could look elegant and relaxed while digging what is ostensibly a wine cellar. He picks up a yardstick, and measures the depth of the pit (nearly dropping a lead pipe, which he then hides). His wife Hermione calls for him. She comes down the stairs, a plump and cherubic busybody. Herbert is digging this “wine cellar” himself, but as Hermione chides him gently for doing all the work without help, we see him measure the length of it in comparison to Hermione. They are going on a long business trip, to America, and they leave that evening. Hermione had organized every last detail, and is inflexible with the schedule. She tells him they must finish packing and Herbert admits that he’s done everything he can for the moment anyway….concerning the “wine cellar.” He says, casually,  and a smidge pleased with himself, “…Yes, I think I have.”

Hermione tells him to come to lunch, and goes back upstairs. Before Herbert joins her, he takes out their passports from his jacket (laying nearby) and sees that Hermione’s height is 5’4.” The pit he dug is sufficient to fit her, with room to spare. “No use crowding,” he says. We also see, in their identification, that Herbert is a metallurgist.

The Carpenter’s housekeeper Elsie (Theresa Harris) serves them shepherd’s pie for lunch. “Your favorite,” Hermione tells him.  “It isn’t truly my favorite, you know,” Herbert sulks. “Of course it is, Herbert,” Hermione insists. “You know how often we have it, and you always enjoy it.”

Hermione goes over more items regarding their move. Delivery people notified, telephone company, she must call up about the electricity….it’s not a relaxing lunch, though Herbert is trying to enjoy it, pouring some wine for the both of them. The furniture must be covered up, the cleaning man is arriving that afternoon, and they are having guests for tea, to say goodbye before they leave. Hermione has taken care of everything, so that Herbert has nothing to do. “You must keep your mind free, for other, more important matters,” she says. She is confident of her abilities, and it’s clear she takes very good care of people, to the point of not allowing anyone to do things their own way. “Few men have wives like you,” Herbert says. We know he’s being sarcastic. She takes this as a great compliment. “One likes to have one’s efforts appreciated, doesn’t one?” she asks.

The Sinclairs (Arthur Gould-Porter and Lillian Kemble-Cooper) and the Hewitts (Gerald Hamer and Irene Tedrow) are in the Carpenter’s living room, for tea. We find out that the Carpenters are going to Los Angeles. “What’s it like?” Mr. Sinclair asks. Herbert says: “Oh, large, casual, very disorganized.” This is the first time we see affection in his face. He loves Los Angeles, it’s clear. The Carpenters and their guests have a nice chat, and Hermione says they will be back for Christmas. Probably around December 15th. Herbert hastily blurts out that maybe they’ll stay permanently, but Hermione ignores him. Hermione also tells Mrs. Hewitt that she has a surprise for Herbert, that requires their returning to England. Wonder what it is. Herbert, however, does not hear this. “I shall have him back for Christmas no matter what happens,” Hermione says cheerfully.

The next seven minutes or so don’t have a great amount of action or dialogue…..But we get to watch Herbert really try to get Hermione to come down to the basement. He looks around, makes sure Elsie is gone. He goes to the cellar, hiding the lead pipe, and calls for Hermione. “There’s something I’d like to ask you!” he calls up to her. Hermione says she has something she needs his help with. And this scene, it is so simple, and yet so perfect and wonderful to watch. Herbert is to help Hermione change one of the covers for the foyer chandelier. He has to hold the ladder steady, and reach for the proper sheet, a few feet away. Herbert and Hermione do a funny dance, showing the ease, comfort, and dullness of a long long long marriage. Herbert looks annoyed, though he doesn’t kill her yet. He wants to do it the proper way.

After he helps her, Hermione finally descends to the cellar, where Herbert tells her to stand in a certain spot and see if the pit he dug is a good size. If you really look closely, you’ll see Hermione turn the water main off. She’s always doing something. Herbert finally gets her to stand exactly where he wants her to (“No, no not there….there,” he says….”Oh Herbert,” she answers dismissively)….And then he picks up the lead pipe. He hits her over the head–something we hear, we don’t actually see it.

And then we see Herbert smoothing out Hermione’s grave. He’s put her into the “wine cellar” pit he dug, and he’s covered her up. He goes to wash his hands, but discovers the water is shut off. He goes BACK to the cellar, turns the water main back on while the music plays my favorite “Oh no you di’int” cue. And suddenly, water sputters and spits from the faucet he had turned on upstairs.

The Wallingfords, who couldn’t make it to tea, enter the foyer calling for Hermione, to say goodbye. Herbert is hiding. The Wallingfords hear the water running and wonder if someone is bathing. Herbert is practically holding his breath. (The staging of this scene is exquisite. Honestly, this sounds like a boring episode. It isn’t. It is one of the most fun to watch…not just this season, but of all the AHP episodes.) After the Wallingfords leave, Herbert looks both relieved and terrified.

Herbert is now off to America. By boat, to New York where he goes to Rockefeller Plaza and the Empire State Building and Times Square, and then in a car, driving cross country, trying a hot dog for the first time while he drives.

He’s set up in a beautiful place in sunny Los Angeles. And we see him typing a letter that is “from” Hermione to their friends back in England. At one point, he even has Hermione say that they really might be staying longer. He’s drinking a glass of beer and eating a sandwich. A lovely maid enters (Mollie Glessing) and he tells her to just do the dishes, he doesn’t need anything too extensive. After a few minutes, there is a knock at the door, and it’s a colleague named Butler (Ross Ford) from the firm where Herbert is to be working, starting that Monday. He delivers Herbert his mail and says his office is all ready. He asks where Mrs. Carpenter is and Herbert answers that they separated, but their friends don’t know yet. After Mr. Butler leaves, Herbert looks over the mail with disinterest. But one letter catches his eye.

The Twist:

It is from a construction company. Hermione hired them to help Herbert with his “wine cellar.” This is Hermione’s surprise. The invoice reads:

To excavating cellar floor
to a depth of 3 feet, lay-
ing concrete, suitably re-
lining walls for use as
wine cellar.
                                        £78

The camera zeroes in a focuses on TO EXCAVATING CELLAR FLOOR. Herbert looks defeated, and resigned, and sick. “She always said I’d be…..back for Christmas,” he says.

Please make a note of it:

There is absolutely nothing to make fun of in this episode. It’s not even like it’s a good episode with a couple of parts that deserve some eye-rolling. It is perfect from beginning to end. The acting is wonderful all around, and John Williams, in particular, is extraordinary. In some ways, the viewer might even wish he would get away with it. Aside from murdering his wife (which is the worst thing ever)……Herbert really is likable.

One thing, though….I wonder if this episode was inspired by the infamous Dr. Crippen?

The magnificent John Williams is Herbert. I talked about him in his bio for The Long Shot, so I won’t repeat his credentials here. But he is my favorite by far. Not just in AHP, but of all time. He is just an absolute joy to watch. I love him. We’ll be seeing quite a lot of him. He is in one more this first season. He was in ten episodes total. He is also remembered for this:

Isobel Elsom is Hermione. She was a really great English character actress, with an enviable career. She was in one of my favorite movies, The Ghost & Mrs. Muir, as Angelica (the mother-in-law). She was also Mrs. Eynsford-Hill in My Fair Lady (also starring Rex Harrison, who was in The Ghost & Mrs. Muir). She was the Innkeeper in Hitchcock’s The Paradine Case. She is in two more AHP episodes (and in one of them, she plays John Williams’ wife again for a second time!), as well as two Alfred Hitchcock Hour episodes.

Major Sinclair is played by Arthur Gould-Porter. He is in a TON of AHP episodes.

Mrs. Sinclair is played by Lillian Kemble-Cooper. This is her only AHP appearance.

Gavin Muir plays Mr. Wallingford. He is in two more AHP episodes, in later seasons.

Katherine Warren is Mrs. Wallingford. She is in two more AHP episodes, one of them in this first season.

Mr. Hewitt is played by Gerald Hamer, who is in one more AHP episode, in the second season.

We saw our Irene Tedrow in Don’t Come Back Alive. She hasn’t much to do here, but she was a gifted actress, with a very full career. She worked steadily and frequently from the 1940s to the 1980s. That’s a 40 year career, wowza!

Ross Ford plays Mr. Butler. He was in some awful movies. This is his only AHP appearance.

The hard-working but little-known Theresa Harris is Elsie. This is her only AHP appearance.

The pretty Mollie Glessing is Herbert’s Los Angeles maid. She is in several more AHP episodes. One of those episodes, in season two, is the same one that John Williams and Isobel Elsom also star in!